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itsbetterthananal:

my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life

rudeandgingerdoctor:

221cbakerstreet:

princessfreakazoid:

larry-while-were-young:

princessfreakazoid:

in the 1940s the word “boner” used to mean “huge mistake” and it still pretty much means that

how the fuck would you know that

because i know things

i read these to my dad and he literally fell off his chair laughing and is now purple in the face

kill-natalie:

[violently watches every movie with favorite actor in it even if he’s only in it for fifteen seconds and has no speaking roles]

faeriebunny:

I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I’ll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because I’ve got something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be, boundless and infinite.

wanglnciaga:

so when ur famous do u just magically have great skin or

someonehelpwillgraham:

“So Hannibal what is for dinner tonight”

[soulja boy voice] “YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”

bitchytbh:

having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch 

iygrittenothing:

ryuyosei:

killipan-jones:

purrim:

purrim:

why are blonde jokes so short?

so men can remember them

this took an unexpected turn

Not if you just asked for directions.